My Mother

My mother is a forty-year-old farmer with short black hair. She’s good atplanting vegetables and feeding chickens. She likes watching TV in her sparetime.

My father leaves home for work to support my family， so my mother has tolook after our big family at home. Every day， although she’s the first to get upand the last to sleep， but淤she never complains. Last week， she was so tired thatshe had a bad fever. I thought I had to go to school without breakfast. But to mysurprised于， when I got up， I found my mother was cooking breakfast for me. I wasmoved to tears. She gives all her love to our family.

I’m proud in盂my mother， so I decide to study harder in return and I willalso help my mother do some housework.

优点：

小作者对母亲的介绍非常到位，突出了母亲对家庭的无私付出。多个衔接词的应用增强了文章的可读性。

需要修改的地方院

①去掉but。表示转折时，although 不能与but 同时出现在一句话中。

②surprised 改为surprise。to one’s surprise 意为“令某人吃惊的是”。

③in 改为of。be proud of...意为“以……为骄傲”。

评分院

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25 分的评分标准，本文修改前可得22分。