We Are Just Children

本期点评名师

张超 男，河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、县骨干教师、市优秀英语教师，从事英语教育教学工作30 多年；多年来，在省级以上报刊发表文章数百篇，并有多篇文章获奖；曾参与多本教辅资料的编写工作；曾荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号；曾多次辅导多名学生在市、省和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。

Children need to play and relax！ Children want to have good time①！

Every teacher wants their students to study hard at school. Every mother wantsher child to study hard at home， too. Mothers always says②， “You need to study toget into a good senior school. And you need to study to get into a university. So now，you must study hard！ ”

Look！ Please look us at③！ We are busy reading. We are tired！ Why？ Why do westudy to get into a good senior school and university？ In China， if you study at agood senior school and university， then you can have a good job. Probably you willwork harder so that you can have more and more money. But so what？ We needhappy④， not money！ We are just children！ 河北省阜城县第四中学万彦红

河北省阜城县第四中学万彦红

优点：

小作者多次使用感叹句及设问表达真实情感，有利于吸引读者的注意。

需要修改的地方：

①在have 后加a。have a good time 意为“玩得开心”。

②says 改为say。句子主语mothers 是复数形式，根据主谓一致原则，谓语动词应使say。

③look us at 改为look at us。短语look at 中，at 是介词，不是副词。

④happy 改为happiness。need 是及物动词，其后需要接名词作宾语。评分院

按照中考英语作文满分20 分的标准，本文修改前可得18 分。