My Father

本期点评名师

陈传光男，江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师、连云港市新333 工程教学标兵、连云港市优秀教育园丁，从事教育教学工作多年；曾获英语专业技能大赛市一等奖及班主任基本功大赛市一等奖；有多篇论文在各核心和主流期刊上发表。

Look at that handsome man. Do you know who he is？ Please allow me to tellyou. He’s my father.

My father looks tall and strong. He is a worker. Although he’s more than 45years old， but①he looks very young. He often goes to play ping-pong ball with meafter work. He tells me it is good for healthy②to do sports. He likes English songsbut he doesn’t sings③very well. In his spare time， he likes cooking and singingsongs for me.

Now you see， my father is a good man and great father. I love him very much.

江苏省连云港市罗阳中学王芹芹

点评

优点：

本文主要介绍了“我”的父亲，第一段就用祈使句和问句开头引起读者的兴趣，为下文做铺垫。在描述人物时，作者从外貌、职业、年龄到兴趣爱好对人物进行了全面的描写，使该人物生动又形象。本文是一篇值得学习的优秀习作。

需要修改的地方院

①but 去掉。although 和but 不能同时出现在一句话中。

②healthy 改为health。介词for 后面接名词。

③sings 去掉后面的s。前面出现doesn’t，后面动词用原形。

评分院按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25 分的评分标准，本文修改前可得23 分。