聚焦语篇衔接，提高续写质量

【名师导学】

读后续写作为一种全新的高考题型，实现了阅读和写作的有机结合。该题型除了要求掌握丰富的词汇和句式，还注重考查内容构思和情节衔接能力。然而，有时候在续写时，我们找不到重点和逻辑，这导致续写内容和上文衔接不紧密。过度重视语法错误而忽视文章的衔接连贯也是一个常见的问题。针对以上问题，我们有三个技巧，希望能提高我们语篇衔接的能力。

一、续写第一段首句出现新的人物或者信息点，下一句的衔接以此展开

在读后续写时，我们难以把握所给段落首句的关键信息，这会导致我们在续写故事时无从下手，或者续写内容和上文衔接不紧密，行文松散。仔细分析段落首句的关键信息，是我们进行读后续写的重要步骤。若段落首句出现阅读文本中从未出现过的人物或者信息点，那么下一句的续写应该围绕新人物、新信息点展开，这样才能达到承上启下的效果。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

On a Sunday afternoon， Kiana French was having fun fishing with her father and heryounger sister， not knowing the next minute they would struggle not to sink in the freezingwater. Their 12footboat was taking in water little by little， and the wind was picking up.Her father， Gary French， hurried to operate the engine， while Kiana， 16， was in the middlewith Cierrah， her sister， frightened but still able to keep calm.

Kiana asked Cierrah to take off one of her cowboy boots， with which she got some ofthe water out. Hard as she tried， that little effort would not help stop the boat sinking. Momentslater， the unthinkable happened. The boat was full of water and then it flipped over.Kiana and her sister were dumped in the water. Their father， who had had surgery sixmonths ago， managed not to be thrown into the water but seemed to have great pain in the chest due to the sudden change.

Kiana quickly put on her life jacket and saw Cierrah’s and her father’s life jacketsfloating away. She reacted quickly to get them back and held her sister onto the boat. Theywere so far out in the middle of the lake that they could not see the shore clearly. What’sworse， it was getting harder to stay above the waves. Their father swam over and hugged histwo girls， Cierrah crying silently. Kiana heard her beloved sister murmur，“I can’t feel myfeet. ”

Kiana knew the only thing to do was get to shore herself and find help. She looked upat her father， exchanging a concerned glance， turned round and swam as hard as she  couldtowards the shore.

Fighting against the strong currents and cold wind， she screamed for help at the top ofher voice every three minutes or so. A strong wind blew， and she looked back only to seeher sister’s and father’s heads bobbing （浮动） in the water. She burst into tears， thinkingher sister and dad were dead， because she was taking too long.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1：

With desperate tears， she suddenly spotted a boat with a figure walking on it.__________

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Paragraph 2：

Once rescued， they were rushed to shore， where a concerned group waited for their ar⁃

rival.________________________________________________________________________________________________

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文本解读

本文主要讲述了Kiana一家遇到翻船事故，惊险求生的故事。续写第一段中的afigure ， 泛指新人物，由此可推测出他很有可能是救星，来拯救遇险的一家人。因此续写第一段的内容应重点描述Kiana一家遇险求生，且被成功救出（可根据续写第二段的they were rushed to shore推断出来）。我们来对比下面两个续写段落：

学生甲：With desperate tears， she suddenly spotted a boat with a figure walking on it.With great efforts， she swam as quickly as possible but tiredness seized her and draggedher down to the bottom. She was too exhausted to keep on swimming...

学生乙：With desperate tears， she suddenly spotted a boat with a figure walking on it.She waved and cried for help with all her strength to catch the man’s attention. Luckily， theman yelled back and immediately came to help her. As the boat was approaching， Kianapointed to her father and her sister...

学生甲的续写基本上都是以Kiana （she）为中心而展开的故事情节，后两句的续写没有衔接首句的新人物（a figure），且忽视了文章的衔接与连贯，使得行文松散；学生乙的续写则捕捉到了续写首句新出现的人物（a figure），第二句描述了Kiana （she）大声呼救以获得新人物的注意，然后新人物开始施救的过程，故事衔接恰当流畅，衔接得更紧密。

二、善用衔接词，增强段内衔接

迄今为止，大部分的读后续写以记叙文为主，所以我们在平时写作练习中可以注意正确运用句子之间的衔接词，有意识地使用复杂句型，以增加文章的亮点：

（1）表示承接、递进：at the very beginning （首先）、what’s more （另外）、moreover （此外）、to make things worse/what’s worse （使得事情更为糟糕的是）。

（2）表示转折：but、however、otherwise （否则）、though、despite、in spite of （尽管）、onthe other hand （另一方面）、on the contrary （恰恰相反）、nevertheless （尽管如此）。

（3）表示时间：a few minutes later、not for a while （没过多久）、then、eventually、all ofa sudden （突然）、at the very moment、at the same time、without thinking twice/without asecond thought/without hesitation （毫不犹豫）、as soon as。

（4）表示总结：on the whole、in conclusion、in a word、to sum up、in short。

（5）表示伴随：with+n.（with great effort 吃力地、with hesitation 犹豫地、with greatease 很轻易地）我们来对比下面两个续写段落：

学生甲：With desperate tears， she suddenly spotted a boat with a figure walking on it.She tried her best to swim to the boat and yelled for help. The man on the boat heard her yelling and came to help. Kiana sighed with a great relief and pointed to her father and hersister， yelling，“They are in the water！ Help！”She was soon picked up and taken to whereher father and her sister were. They were almost drowned. The man and Kiana quicklyhelped them get into the boat.