增添视角,丰富续写内容

作者: 彭向梅

增添视角,丰富续写内容0

【问题导读】

在读后续写过程中,学生们很容易忽略视角在读后续写中的作用。视角是指通过从不同角度描述事件或情境,使故事或叙述更加丰富和立体。这能够帮助学生们更全面地理解故事的情境和角色的动机,从而增强故事的吸引力和说服力。但在写作过程中,学生们如果不能理解和运用增添视角的微技能,这可能会导致续写的故事出现以下几种问题:

1. 故事维度单一

故事可能会局限在单一的视角,通常是主角的视角,这样的故事缺乏深度,可能无法充分展示不同人物之间的互动和冲突。

2. 角色缺乏深度

如果没有运用多角度视角,故事中的角色可能会显得平面和单调,角色的情感、动机和背景可能不够丰富,导致角色缺乏真实感和吸引力。

3. 情感共鸣受限

故事的情感层次可能会受到限制,单一的视角难以充分表达人物复杂的情感和心理状态,从而减弱读者的情感共鸣和故事的感染力。

4. 缺乏新颖性和创造性

故事可能会因为缺乏不同的视角和新的解读而显得陈旧,增添视角可以带来新的思考和创造性的故事元素。

5. 信息和背景不全面

故事可能无法全面展示事件的多方面信息和相关背景,特别是在涉及复杂情境或多方利益冲突时。不同视角可以帮助揭示故事的全貌,提供更全面的理解。

【名师导学】

增添视角的微技能在小说、故事等类型的写作中很常见。例如,在写小说时,作者可能会先从主角的视角描述事件,然后切换到其他角色的视角,展示他们对同一事件的不同理解和感受。增添视角的微技能既可以运用到前文的阅读分析中,也可以运用到情节预测的准备过程中。在三大主题语境中,学生都可以运用视角意识,通过增添视角,丰富写作内容。

人与社会主题:在人与社会主题的读后续写中,增添视角可能涉及对社会现象的多维度理解,如通过分析社会成员的不同经历和背景来展现社会问题的多面性。

人与自我主题:在人与自我主题的读后续写中,增添视角能够通过展示主角的内心矛盾、成长过程或自我认知的变化来丰富故事。

人与自然主题:在人与自然主题的读后续写中,增添视角能够通过描写不同人物与自然的互动和体验来揭示自然的多样性和人类对自然的不同态度。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。

Once there lived a girl named Melanie. The little girl was living with a dream. Shewanted to be a ballet dancer. Her body was very flexible and she had a strong willpower.Melanie's parents never knew of the great dancing skills their daughter had until one day,they saw the little girl dancing with the beautiful steps of a ballerina.

“Isn't it strange? Melanie is dancing so well without any formal training!”her mother said.

“We must give her ballet lessons to help her improve her skills,”her father said.

The following day, Melanie's parents took her to a local dance training school. Theteacher asked Melanie to dance. The little girl was happy and showed some of her favoritedance steps. However, the teacher didn't seem interested in her performance.

“That's OK. You can leave now!”the teacher said.

Melanie was shocked to hear this. So were her parents. They couldn't believe their ears.“

“The girl is common. She does not have the possibility to become a ballerina,”the dance teacher said.“Don't let her waste her time dreaming of becoming a dancer.”

Disappointed, Melanie and her parents returned home. Tears rolled down Melanie'sface. Her dream was broken within a matter of minutes. Without confidence, Melanienever attempted to dance again. She completed her studies and went on to become ateacher in school. Life was good and she kept herself busy with family and work. However,whenever she happened to pass the school's ballet room, memories of childhood dreamsdanced before her eyes. This time she met an unacquainted yet different ballet teacher,who would inspire others to pursue their dreams.

注意:续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1:

One day, the ballet teacher at her school was late._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

“What a performance, Melanie! You are a true ballerina!”said the ballet teacher entering the classroom.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

一、故事梳理

本故事围绕Melanie展开,她自幼梦想成为芭蕾舞者。她尽管天生具有舞蹈天赋,却因一次失败的舞蹈学习经历而放弃了梦想。多年后,作为一名教师的她,在学校意外地与芭蕾舞重新有了交集,这唤醒了她对舞蹈的热爱。我们可以使用视角分析法,梳理前文情节线和感情线。

二、语言分析

现在使用视角分析微技能对前文语言进行分析。

Melanie 的视角:

原文:Without confidence, Melanie never attempted to dance again. 由于缺乏自信,Melanie再也没有尝试过跳舞。

分析: 这句话反映了Melanie内心的失望和挫败感,描述了她在遭到否定后放弃梦想的情感状态。

父母的视角:

原文:“Isnt it strange? Melanie is dancing so well without any formal tranining!”hermother said.“这是不是很奇怪?Melanie没有受过任何正规训练都跳舞跳得很好!”她的母亲说道。

“We must give her ballet lessons to help her improve her skills,”her father said.“我们必须给她上芭蕾舞课,以帮助她提高技能。”她的父亲说道。

分析:这两句话体现了父母对Melanie的天赋的认可和支持以及他们对女儿未来的期望和关心。

以前的舞蹈老师的视角:

原文:“The girl is common. She does not have the possibility to become a ballerina,”the dance teacher said.“这个女孩很普通。她没有成为芭蕾舞者的可能。”舞蹈老师说道。

分析:这句话表现出了以前的舞蹈老师对Melanie的舞蹈天赋的误解和严苛的评价。

视角微技能还可以辅助故事预测。

Melanie 的未来视角:

预测:Melanie might rediscover her passion for ballet and achieve success despiteinitial setbacks. 尽管最初的挫折,Melanie可能会重新发现她对芭蕾舞的热情,并取得成功。

分析:这种预测反映了对Melanie的内在韧性和潜力的积极看法,表明她可能会克服早期的失败,实现她的梦想。

父母的期望视角:

预测:Her parents may continue to support and encourage her, hoping she will pursueher dream again. 她的父母可能会继续支持和鼓励她,希望她再次追求她的梦想。

分析:这种预测体现了父母对Melanie 的坚定的支持和对她未来能够成功的信心。

新舞蹈老师的视角:

预测:The dance teacher, observing Melanies talent, suggested Melanie join advanced classes. 舞蹈老师发现了Melanie的舞蹈天赋,并建议她参加高级舞蹈课程。

分析:这种预测暗示了新舞蹈老师对Melanie才能的发现与肯定。

三、常用招式

1. 借助动物视角,让环境由静变动

原文:She sat down on the park bench and began to read her new book. 她在公园的长椅上坐下,开始读她的新书。

增添视角:从公园的鸟儿视角来看,在附近的一棵树上,一只鸟看着这个女人在公园的长椅上坐下,打开她的新书。它飞去,然后加入了同伴之中。

In a nearby tree, a bird watched as the woman settled down on the park benchand opened her new book. It flew off to join its companions.

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