父母在阴阳怪气时有多幽默

I asked my mom where the hair dryer was and she said：“Yell for it.Repeat it and it’ll come to your hand.”

我问我妈吹风机在哪里，她说：“你大声喊它啊，多喊几声它就到你手里了。”

My bedroom is in a mess. Dad describes it like this： “Every time I’m standing at your door，I have the urge to cry. It wouldn’t get as messy as this even if a burglar entered your room and rummaged through the room. And a mouse would get lost in your room.”

我爸是这么形容我杂乱的房间的：“每次站在你的卧室门口，我都有想哭的冲动。小偷入室翻箱倒柜也弄不了这么乱，老鼠进你的房间都得迷路。”

Me：“Mom，where shall I put this chair？”

Mom：“In the fridge.”

我：“妈，这个椅子放哪里？”

我妈：“放冰箱里。”

I spent a long time in the toilet.Dad said：“Next time you should take a quilt with you，in case you fall asleep there.”

我上厕所时间太久，我爸说：“下次，你记得带床被子，我怕你睡着了。”

When I can’t find things in our house，I’ll ask Mom and she’ll always roll her eyes at me and say：“Are you new here？ ”

我在家里找不到东西时问我妈，我妈总会白我一眼：“你是新来的？”

（爱丽丝摘自《英语街·高中版》2023年第10期，视觉中国供图）