Keep the Line Moving保持前行

My thoughts are constantly wandering， and I often allow myself time to ponder whatever it is I’m finding particularly interesting in the moment. This morning， as I sipped my coffee and listened to the distant cry of seagulls， my musings were around feeling stuck. I thought about the times in my life when， typically amidst big changes， I had no plan， no idea as to how to move forward. I suddenly realized， however， my reaction to my most recent set of challenges was different， and as I reached the bottom of a second cup of coffee， a phrase popped into my head： keep the line moving.

我的思维不断游走，我时常花时间去琢磨当下觉得很有趣的一切事情。今天早上，当我啜着咖啡，听着远处海鸥的鸣叫时，我的思绪近乎被卡住了。我想到了生命中的某些时刻，通常是面临重大变化之际，我没有计划，不知道如何前进。但我突然意识到，我对最近一系列挑战的反应有所不同，在我喝完第二杯咖啡时，一个短语突然闯入我的脑中：保持前行。

I used to work in retail， and a big emphasis was on ensuring customers moved through the checkout line in a timely manner. No matter what， the priority was to keep the line moving. As an example， if a product fell on the floor and broke， we didn’t fixate on the glass shards， oblivious to what was going on around us. A clean-up crew was called， and another register was immediately opened for the remaining people in line. It was understood that after dealing with the immediacy of the situation， we needed to take quick action towards solving any issues that may have developed as a result. It occurred to me I may have unknowingly used this strategy to keep things moving in my personal life.

我曾在零售行业工作，很重要的一点是确保排队付款的顾客及时通过收银台。不管怎样，都要先保持队伍前进。举个例子，如果有个物品掉在地板上摔碎了，我们不会专注于玻璃碎片而无视周围正在发生的事。清理人员会被叫过来，另一个收银台会立即为仍在排队的人开放。我们都了解在处理完紧急情况之后，需要迅速采取行动以解决可能因此产生的任何问题。我突然想到，我可能在不知不觉中运用了这种策略来保持我的个人生活前行。

At the end of 2018 my vehicle broke down， I was suddenly miserable in a job I once loved and a relationship I really wanted to work， apparently wasn’t going to. On top of all of that， I was given notice I had to move. I struggled heavily with the gravity of the situation， and took time off work to think. I was in a bad way， and not just because of the circumstances. I knew if I didn’t change the way I was looking at things， I’d really be in trouble.

2018年底，我的车坏了，并且突然之间，一度热爱的工作使我陷入痛苦，一段真心期望维系的感情显然也无法继续。最重要的是，我被告知必须搬家。我在严峻的形势下苦苦挣扎，在工作之余抽出时间思考。我当时情况很糟，不仅仅因为经济状况。我知道如果不改变看待事物的视角，我就真的麻烦了。

I gave myself a week to feel everything I needed to feel and， after wiping the streaks of mascara from my face one last time， made some liberating decisions. I decided not to fix my vehicle， choosing to make my bike and city transit my new transportation options instead. I vowed to do the best I could at work， with the understanding that if I became unbearably unhappy， I could make a change. I surrendered to the reality of my relationship and let it go in the direction it needed to， with love and as much understanding as I could. And instead of scrambling to find another place to live， 2019 began with that idea indefinitely on hold. I put my whittled-down belongings in storage and embraced the hospitality of friends and family， and said yes to various house sitting opportunities.

我给自己一个星期的时间去感受我需要感受的一切，最后一次擦去脸上的睫毛膏划痕后，我做出了一波自我解放的决定。我决定不修车，而是选择自行车和城市公共交通作为我的新出行方式。我发誓要在工作中做到最好，因为我知道如果我不开心到无法忍受，我就会做出改变。我向这段感情的现实情况投降，让它伴着爱和我能给予的尽可能多的理解，去往它需要的方向。我并没有匆忙寻找下一个地方居住，2019年伊始，这个想法便被无限期地搁置。我妥善存放了精简之后的财物，接受朋友和家人的好意，并应承下各种替人看房的机会。

It wasn’t an easy time， but at the end of those seven days， I realized I was fixating on the ‘broken’ parts of my life. I didn’t necessarily know what to do， but I knew I needed to take some sort of action. I need to do something—anything—to at least feel empowered to create my next chapter as opposed to waiting for life to continue to ‘happen’ to me. It didn’t change the reality of the circumstances， and I had no idea if the choices I was making were the right ones. But after I was finished feeling sorry for myself and got through the ugly crying， I knew the priority was to figure out how to deal with the issues I was facing.

那段时间并不轻松，但在那7天结束时，我意识到自己关注着生活中“摔碎”的部分。我不一定知道该做什么，但我知道我需要采取一些行动。我需要做点什么——任何事——至少要感到有能力去创造自己的下一个篇章，而不是等待生活继续“发生”在我身上。这并没有改变现实，我也不知道自己做的选择是否正确。但在我结束了自怜自伤、熬过了难看的哭泣之后，我知道了最先要做的是弄清如何处理正在面临的问题。

Ultimately， seven months after making those first life-changing decisions， I did leave my job. And although I’m grateful for the experience， it was the best thing I could’ve ever done. And I can’t help but look at it now as just one of the many actions I took to keep my own personal ‘line’ moving.

最终，在做出第一波改变人生的决定7个月后，我毅然离职。虽然我十分感激这段经历，但这仍然是我做过最棒的事情。现在，我总把离职看成是为保持个人“队伍”前进而采取的诸多行动之一。