‘Evil Customs’: Why a Kashmiri Village Abandoned Dowries一个克什米尔村庄缘何摒弃嫁妆陋俗

Dowries， illegal since 1961， still cause 20 deaths a day in India. But Babawayil has had no divorces or violence against women since it banned them. 虽然1961年以来嫁妆在印度就不合法，但每天仍有20人因此丧命。然而自巴巴韦伊尔禁止嫁妆以来，当地再未发生过离婚或针对女性的暴力事件。

Babawayil， in the foothills of the Zabarwan mountains by the Sind River， is a typical village in Indian-administered Kashmir. Groups of men and women sit on their lawns1 breaking open green husks of walnuts， freshly gathered from the giant trees shading the sleepy hamlet2. Other villagers are busy in the paddy fields bringing in the harvest. Harud3， the harvest season， is usually busy.

巴巴韦伊尔位于查巴拉万山麓，靠近信德河，是一个典型的印控克什米尔村庄。一群群男女坐在自家的草坪上，剥开新摘核桃的绿色外皮，巨大的核桃树掩映着这个恬静的村庄。另一些村民则在稻田里忙着收割水稻。哈鲁德，意思是“丰收的季节”，人们通常很忙碌。

Most of the 150 households make their living from farming and weaving pashmina shawls. The village， however， is one of the rare places in south Asia that has banned dowries and abandoned the custom of throwing lavish weddings.

该村150户人家中，大部分以务农和编织羊绒披肩为生。然而，这个村庄是南亚为数不多的禁止嫁妆、摒弃奢华婚礼习俗的地方之一。

Weddings in this part of the world are usually expensive and can cost a family’s life savings. Money is spent on elaborate meals served to hundreds of guests—relatives， friends and neighbours.

在世界上的这一地区，婚礼通常很昂贵，可能会耗尽一个家庭所有的积蓄。钱花在为数百名宾客——亲戚、朋友和邻居——提供丰盛的餐食上。

As part of the dowry， the bride’s family gives gifts—household appliances， jewellery， cash and sometimes even a car for the groom. Often， the wedding happens only after the dowry is fixed.

作为嫁妆的一部分，新娘的家人会赠送礼物——家用电器、珠宝、现金，有时甚至会为新郎配一辆汽车。通常，婚礼要等到嫁妆定下之后才会举行。

Dowries have been illegal in India for the past six decades， but the custom is deeply entrenched. An estimated 20 women a day are murdered or kill themselves in the country because of dowry demands. Every year there are more than 8，000 “dowry deaths”.

印度在过去的60年间一直禁止嫁妆，但这一习俗根深蒂固。据估计，该国每天有20名女性因嫁妆要求而遭谋杀或自杀。每年都有超过8000起“嫁妆致死”事件。

“The stories reaching here about dowry and expensive weddings were disturbing，” said Bashir Ahmad， imam of the village mosque4. “I would always wonder how we would be able to marry our children with these traditions.”

“流传到这里的关于嫁妆和昂贵婚礼的故事令人不安。”该村清真寺的伊玛目巴希尔·艾哈迈德说，“我总是在想，我们怎么能让孩子们遵循这样的传统结婚。”

Ahmad was among 20 village elders who met in the winter of 2004 to discuss how these “evil customs” could be stopped. After days of deliberation， the elders presented their ideas to villagers.

2004年冬季，20位村中长者聚在一起，讨论如何停止这些“陋俗”，艾哈迈德是其中之一。经过数日商议，这些长者向村民们提出了他们的想法。

They proposed that the bride’s family would not pay anything towards the wedding. The groom’s family would pay 900 Indian rupees （£9） as mehr—an Islamic obligation that the groom has to pay to the bride in the form of money or possessions when they marry—and 15，000 rupees （£150） to the bride’s family. The groom would arrange for 50kg of meat and 40kg of rice for the wedding feast， and only 40 people from the groom’s side were allowed to attend.

他们提议新娘家庭不为婚礼支付任何费用。新郎的家庭则须支付900印度卢比（约9英镑）作为“梅赫”（一种伊斯兰教规定的义务，新郎在结婚时要以金钱或财产的形式支付给新娘），以及向新娘家庭支付1.5万卢比（约150英镑）。新郎须准备好50公斤肉和40公斤大米用于婚宴，且仅允许新郎一方40人参加婚宴。

Previously， hundreds of guests could sit down to the wazwan， a multicourse feast of Kashmiri cuisine5 served at weddings， and dowries could reach hundreds of thousand of rupees.

以前，数百名宾客可以坐在一起享用“瓦兹万”，这是一种婚礼上由多道菜肴组成的克什米尔美食盛宴，而嫁妆的金额可高达数十万卢比。

Villagers were quick to accept the new rules. Since then， there have been no expensive weddings held in Babawayil and no dowries have been given.

村民们迅速接受了这些新规定。从那时起，巴巴韦伊尔再没有举行过昂贵的婚礼，也再没有人出嫁妆了。

Last year， villagers updated the regulations： the groom’s family now has to pay 50，000 rupees （£500） to the bride’s family， which includes 20，000 of mehr， to account for inflation. There is no wedding feast—only dates and tea can be served—and just three people are allowed to accompany the groom.

去年，村民们更新了规定：考虑到通货膨胀，新郎家庭现须向新娘家庭支付5万卢比（500英镑），其中包括2万卢比的“梅赫”。婚礼不设婚宴，只提供椰枣和茶水，而且只允许三人陪同新郎。

“I am proud that everyone in the village is following these laws，” said Ahmad， whose two sons and two daughters have married in the last few years.

“我很自豪，因为村里每个人都在遵守这些法律。”艾哈迈德说。他的两个儿子和两个女儿也在过去几年里成婚。

The villagers say there has not been a single reported case of violence or abuse against a woman since the rules were introduced， and there have been no divorces.

村民们表示，自从这些规定实施以来，未曾发生过一起针对女性的暴力或虐待事件，也没有出现离婚的情况。

There is also peer pressure to follow the rules. Ahmad says anyone who does not abide by them is ostracised in the community.

此外，来自同龄人的压力也迫使他们遵守规则。艾哈迈德表示，任何不遵守规则的人都会遭到社区的排斥。

“Our inspiration comes from our religion，” says Iqra Altaf， 25， a postgraduate student who recently got married.

“我们的灵感来源于我们的宗教。”最近刚结婚的25岁研究生伊克拉·阿尔塔夫如是说道。

“Customs like dowry and lavish weddings are only making the life of women difficult，” she said. “It is leading to crimes and discrimination against women， even people do not want to have a girl child because of these issues. We have to end this menace.”