The Moon and Sixpence (Excerpt)《怪画家》（节选）

【导读】 《月亮和六便士》（王鹤仪译为《怪画家》）发表于1919年。小说以法国后印象派画家保罗·高更（Paul Gauguin）的生平为素材，讲述了男主人公史特勒兰人到中年抛妻弃子、追求绘画理想的故事。史特勒兰是伦敦股票经纪人，生活优渥幸福，妻子漂亮能干，儿女健康快乐。但他突然不辞而别，跑到巴黎追求绘画理想，后来生活潦倒，流落到塔希提岛，结果贫病交加，在创作出伟大艺术作品的同时结束了生命。小说展现了对天才、个性与生命的深刻哲思。本篇选自小说第12章，讲述的是男主人公跑到巴黎之后，妻子托“我”调查原因时与主人公的对话。

“Your wife says that nothing you can do will ever induce her to divorce you. She’s quite made up her mind. You can put any possibility of that definitely out of your head.”

“尊夫人说，不管你用什么手段，都不能骗她离婚。她已拿定了主意。你尽可不必再作此想。”

He looked at me with an astonishment that was certainly not feigned. The smile abandoned his lips， and he spoke quite seriously.

他一惊，呆望着我。他的惊愕确非假装。微笑从嘴角消失了。他非常认真地说：

“But， my dear fellow， I don’t care. It doesn’t matter a twopenny damn to me one way or the other.”

“亲爱的先生，我不在乎。随便怎样，对我都没有关系。”

I laughed.

我笑起来。

“Oh， come now; you mustn’t think us such fools as all that. We happen to know that you came away with a woman.”

“哼，你不要以为我们傻到这地步。碰巧我们知道你带了一个女人同走。”

He gave a little start， and then suddenly burst into a shout of laughter. He laughed so uproariously that people sitting near us looked round， and some of them began to laugh too.

他稍现惊容，忽的大笑起来。他笑得很响，邻座的人都朝我们这边瞧，有几个人甚至也跟着笑起来。

“I don’t see anything very amusing in that.”

“我不懂这有什么好笑。”

“Poor Amy，” he grinned.

“可怜的亚密。”他露齿笑笑，面上现出极端轻蔑不屑的样子。

Then his face grew bitterly scornful.

“What poor minds women have got！ Love. It’s always love. They think a man leaves only because he wants others. Do you think I should be such a fool as to do what I’ve done for a woman？”

“女人的头脑真可怜！爱情——一天到晚总脱不了爱情。她们以为男子遗弃她们的原因，只是另有所欢。你以为我傻到这地步，为了女人才出走吗？”

“Do you mean to say you didn’t leave your wife for another woman？”

“你的意思是说，你不是为了另一个女人才遗弃你的太太？”

“Of course not.”

“当然不是。”

“On your word of honour？”

“你肯发誓？”

I don’t know why I asked for that. It was very ingenuous of me.

我也不懂自己何以会作这样的要求。我自问光明磊落。

“On my word of honour.”

“我发誓。”

“Then， what in God’s name have you left her for？”

“那么，干吗你要离开她？”

“I want to paint.”

“我要绘画。”

I looked at him for quite a long time. I did not understand. I thought he was mad. It must be remembered that I was very young， and I looked upon him as a middle-aged man. I forgot everything but my own amazement.

我呆瞪着他，久久不能已。我不了解他的话。他一定是精神错乱了。须知那时我还很年轻，而视他为中年人。因此我忘了一切，只感到惊诧。

“But you’re forty.”

“但是你是四十岁的人啦。”

“That’s what made me think it was high time to begin.”

“所以我认为不容再缓了。”

“Have you ever painted？”

“你曾经绘过画？”

“I rather wanted to be a painter when I was a boy， but my father made me go into business because he said there was no money in art. I began to paint a bit a year ago. For the last year I’ve been going to some classes at night.”

“小的时候，我曾希望当画家，可是我的父亲以为艺术不值钱，要我从商。一年前，我才开始绘画。去年我一直上夜校。2”

“Was that where you went when Mrs. Strickland thought you were playing bridge at your club？”

“难道史特勒兰太太以为你在俱乐部玩桥牌的时候，你就是到夜校去吗？”

“That’s it.”

“是的。”

“Why didn’t you tell her？”

“干吗你不告诉她？”

“I preferred to keep it to myself.”

“我不高兴让人知道。”

“Can you paint？”

“你能画吗？”

“Not yet. But I shall. That’s why I’ve come over here. I couldn’t get what I wanted in London. Perhaps I can here.”

“还不能。不过将来一定会。这就是我到这里来的原因。伦敦不能满足我的欲望。这里也许能。”

“Do you think it’s likely that a man will do any good when he starts at your age？ Most men begin painting at eighteen.”

“你以为在你这种年纪开始学画，会成功吗？普通的人大都是在十八岁开始的。”

“I can learn quicker than I could when I was eighteen.”

“我可以比十八岁的时候学得快一些。”

“What makes you think you have any talent？”

“干吗你会自以为有天才？”

He did not answer for a minute. His gaze rested on the passing throng， but I do not think he saw it. His answer was no answer.

他一时没有回答，呆视着熙来攘往的人群。其实，我相信他根本没有瞧见他们。他的回答，甚于没有回答。

“I’ve got to paint.”

“我一定要绘画。”

“Aren’t you taking an awful chance？”

“这样岂不是太冒险了吗？”

He looked at me. His eyes had something strange in them， so that I felt rather uncomfortable.

他望着我，眸子里闪着古怪的表情，令我局促不安。

“How old are you？ Twenty-three？”

“你几岁？二十三？”

It seemed to me that the question was beside the point. It was natural that I should take chances; but he was a man whose youth was past， a stockbroker with a position of respectability， a wife and two children. A course that would have been natural for me was absurd for him. I wished to be quite fair.

这句话完全离题。这在我固然不妨冒险一下。但他已不是一个少年，而是一个体面的股票经纪人，有妻子，有两个孩子。所以，平心而论，在我固可以说是当然的途径，而在他却是万分的不妥。

“Of course a miracle may happen， and you may be a great painter， but you must confess the chances are a million to one against it. It’ll be an awful sell if at the end you have to acknowledge you’ve made a hash of it.”

“当然，也许奇迹突现，你会成个3大画家。可是你须明白，成功的机会只有百万分之一。末了等到你觉悟一切皆成泡影的时候你已经大吃其亏了。”