Happiness Is a Trap幸福是个陷阱

We live in a world obsessed with happiness. Between chief happiness officers1， the Happy Planet Index2， Gross National Happiness， and the World Happiness Report， it seems as though happiness has some good PR. Throughout modern history， and with little contesting， happiness has been seen as the end goal and just reward for a life of laudable toil.

我们生活在一个执着于幸福的世界。从“首席幸福官”“幸福星球指数”“国民幸福总值”和《全球幸福指数报告》中似乎可以看出，对“幸福”的宣传颇为有效。纵观现代史，对于值得赞美的辛劳生活，幸福一直被视为其最终目标与合理回报，这一观点几乎没有争议。

Before the ancient Greek philosophers， happiness， like most things in life， was seen as a benefaction granted by the gods. It was the great iconoclast Socrates who became the first to suggest that happiness was a cognitive and meaning-making pursuit， something in a person’s control， rather than simply a gift bestowed by the gods. And now， the positive thinking movement， abundance theory and any other number of self-help genres see some form of happiness as the primary objective and something we can achieve if we just try hard enough.

在古希腊哲学家的时代之前，幸福和生活中的大多数事情一样，被视为神赐恩惠。伟大的反偶像崇拜者苏格拉底第一个提出，幸福是一种在认知层面构建意义的追求，是人可以控制的东西，而不仅仅是神赐的礼物。如今，积极思考运动、富足理论等各种自助流派都将某种形式的幸福视为首要目标，认为只要我们足够努力就能实现幸福。

It’s an unfortunate irony then that in a world fixated on happiness， people are so chronically unhappy. There are 280 million people with depression globally， according to the World Health Organization. It’s a further tragic irony that we are so bad at knowing what will make us happy. As humans， we “miswant” a lot of things that we have been conditioned to believe will make us happier than they actually do. How often have we felt a certain kind of deflation after that big purchase or much-anticipated night out when it didn’t live up to our expectations？

然而，既讽刺又令人遗憾的是，在执着于幸福的世界里，人们却长期处于不快乐的状态。根据世界卫生组织的统计，全球有2.8亿人患有抑郁症。更为可悲的是，我们根本不知道什么能让我们幸福。我们人类“误以为自己想要”很多东西，习惯于相信这些东西会让我们更幸福，但事实并非如此。我们有多少次因为大采购或热切期待的夜生活没有达到预期而在某种程度上感到失落？

Between self-help gurus， philosophers and marketers all telling us how to be happy， it’s easy to get confounded. How do we achieve happiness？ As captivating as it is， that question isn’t the right one. This one is： What if we’re so fixated on happiness that we’ve failed to question whether happiness is what we should be pursuing？ What if， after two millenniums of debating the relative benefits of varying types of happiness， we could focus on another， more enduring， more impactful emotional state that will bring us both happiness and more significant benefits？ Simply put， it feels like we are on a racetrack， chasing the wrong rabbit.

自助大师、哲学家和营销人员都在告诉我们如何获得幸福，我们很容易感到困惑。我们如何获得幸福？这个问题虽然很吸引人，但问得不对。我们应该问：是不是我们太执着于幸福，而未曾考虑幸福是否值得追求？两千年来，我们一直在思考不同类型的幸福有何相对优势，假如现在我们可以专注于另一种更持久、更有力的情感状态，这种状态既能给我们带来幸福，也能带来更重大的益处，情况会如何？简而言之，执着于幸福就像在赛马场上追错了兔子。

Why not pursue wonder？ Each of us has experienced wonder. It’s as universal an emotion as happiness and fear. Still， we all too often seek the comfort of simple positive emotions such as happiness rather than sit in the discomfort of negative or mixed emotions， even though they contribute to more profound well-being.

为什么不追求惊奇呢？我们每个人都感受过惊奇，那是和快乐与恐惧一样普遍的情感。尽管如此，我们还是经常从简单的积极情绪（如快乐）中寻求安慰，而不是沉浸在消极或复杂情绪的不快中，尽管后者有助于我们获得更深刻的幸福。

We resist negative emotions such as sadness or fear at our peril. Psychologist and philosopher Kirk Schneider refers to happiness as “potential fool’s gold，” believing the “compulsion to think positively” （i.e.， toxic positivity） is equally as bad as the “compulsion to think negatively” and can actually block us from experiencing the “wonder-amazement of living.” Embracing negative emotions not only adds to the richness of our human experience， but negative emotions are also a way to broaden our emotional vocabulary， which helps us call up a greater variety of coping skills. In fact， research shows that people with higher emotional granularity， or emodiversity， use more positive coping mechanisms and recover more quickly from stress.

我们抵制悲伤或恐惧等负面情绪的做法反而对自己不利。心理学家、哲学家柯克·施奈德说幸福“可能是愚人的黄金”，他认为“强迫积极思考”（即有毒的积极性）与“强迫消极思考”同样有害，实际上会阻碍我们体验“生活的惊奇之处”。拥抱消极情绪不仅能丰富我们人类的体验，还是拓宽我们情感词汇的一种方式，有助于我们调用更多种应对技能。事实上，有研究表明情绪颗粒度（或称情绪多样性）更高的人会使用更多积极的应对机制，并且能更快地从压力中恢复过来。

Even better than embracing your negative emotions is embracing both positive and negative emotions at the same time. This powerful coping mechanism increases our sense of meaning and gratitude in the face of adversity. While emotions such as happiness are known as “positively valenced” and emotions such as sadness are “negatively valenced，” some emotions like bittersweetness， sympathy， nostalgia and wonder are mixed or “dually valenced” emotions.

比拥抱消极情绪更有益的是同时拥抱积极和消极的情绪。这种强大的应对机制能增强我们在逆境中的意义感和感激之情。快乐等情绪被称为“正价情绪”，悲伤等情绪被称为“负价情绪”，而苦乐参半、同情、怀旧和惊奇等情绪则属于复杂或 “双价情绪”。

Paradoxically， this tendency toward feeling just positive purely or negative emotions is further exacerbated when we are stressed， precisely when we could most benefit from the ameliorating effects of mixed emotions. Under stress， we lean on our mental shortcuts， defaulting to simple emotions such as “happy” or “sad” instead of embracing the multidimensionality of a complex emotion such as wonder. These types of complex emotions make us more resilient. In essence， by holding both positive and negative thoughts in our mind simultaneously， we can better metabolize traumatic experiences and make meaning of them.