Be a Student with Good Manners
作者: 陈传光本期点评名师
陈传光男,江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师、连云港市优秀教育园丁、江苏省教育学会会员,从事教育教学工作多年;曾获英语教研能力大赛区一等奖、英语专业技能大赛市一等奖、班主任基本功大赛市一等奖;有多篇论文在各核心和主流期刊上发表;曾指导学生在各类竞赛中取得不错的成绩,有多人获得地市级奖和省级奖。
Be a Student with Good Manners
It’s important to be a student with good manners in our daily life.
Last Sunday morning, I visited a theme park with my friends, Mike and Steve.While walk①along the pavement, I saw an old man slip on a piece of banana peeland fell over. Just then Mike rushed up and tried to help the old man. When Steveand I saw Mike’s action, we were deeply moved.
So what can we do to be a student with good manners? In my opinion,we should help with②each other. We should follow the school rules, too. Inpublic, we shouldn’t talk or laugh loudly. On the bus, we should offer ourseats for③the elderly.
In a word, wherever we are, we should behave well to be a student withgood manners.
江苏省连云港市罗阳中学 张静贤
点评
优点:
本文小作者写出了生活中乐于助人的事例,同时提出了成为有礼貌的学生的一些建议。整篇文章文字流畅、用词得当,是一篇不错的习作。
需要修改的地方:
①walk 改为walking。while doing sth.意为“当做某事时”。
②去掉with。help 是及物动词,后面直接跟宾语。
③for 改为to。offer sth. to sb.意为“给某人提供某物”。
评分:按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25 分的评分标准,本文修改前可得22 分。