A Day to Remember
作者： 张超本期点评名师
张超 男，河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、县骨干教师、市优秀英语教师，从事英语教育教学工作30 多年；多年来，在省级以上报刊发表文章数百篇，并有多篇文章获奖；曾参与多本教辅资料的编写工作；曾荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号；曾多次辅导多名学生在市、省和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。
A Day to Remember
On october淤11th， 2023， it was cloudy. It was an unforgettable day for me. Onthe way to school， my friend did rude something于to me. I felt very sad. And Ididn’t past the test of my favorite subject. It was really a bad day.
After school， I went home unhappily. There was no one in the house. Everyroom was dark. What was wrong？ I just wanted to make a call when the lights wereon. I was surprised saw盂many people and a big cake. They were singing“Happybirthday”. It was my birthday. I forgot. I was so excited and happy. I knew that myfamily and friends always made me happy. I’ll never forget that day.
河北省阜城县第四中学 马海生
优点：
本文是一篇记叙文，格式正确，信息内容完整，符合写作要求。小作者采用一般过去时，用第一或第三人称来叙述故事内容，整篇文章有一气呵成之感。在描述“我”那天的经历和感受时，内容全面、条理清晰。此外，小作者使用了连词连接并列成分，使文章前后连贯，逻辑严密。
需要修改的地方：
①october 改为October。月份的首字母应大写。
②rude something 改为something rude。形容词修饰不定代词应后置。
③saw 改为to see。be surprised to do sth.意为“对做某事感到惊讶”。
评分：
按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得17分。