A New Friend

作者: 王梦瑶

For the activity, I think I find a new friend. His name is Li Yang. He is14 years old. He is tall and thin. He wears glasses. He has short black hair andsmall nose.

He has many hobbies. He likes playing basketball and soccer. He also likesstudying. He is good at math and English. He often help于me with math and tellsme how to study English well. He studies very hard. He often wins the first place inthe exams. He often improves me and helps me, and we are best friends.

河南省郑州市第六十四中学 刘逸桐

本期点评名师

王梦瑶 女,华中师范大学硕士,近年一直担任初中英语学科教师兼班主任。提倡以人为本,一切从学生出发,一切为了学生,以把学生培养成全面发展的人才为目标。在课堂上,多鼓励学生以自己的英语学习方式表达自己的观点和方法。

点评

优点:

整篇文章详细叙述了Li Yang 的外貌和爱好,全篇虽然用的都是简单句式,但行文流畅、语法正确、表达清晰,是一篇值得推荐的学生习作。

需要修改的地方:

①small 前应该加a。nose 是可数名词,前面要加不定冠词a。

②help 后面加s。主语是第三人称单数,help 应改为helps。

③improves 改为encourages。improve 多用于“自我改善”,用encourage 更准确。

评分:

按湖北省武汉市中考英语作文满分15 分的评分标准,本文修改前可得13 分。

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