2022年6月大学英语四、六级作文试题评析（二）

四级

Directions： Suppose you are writing a proposal to your school clinic for improving its service. You are to write about its current problems and solutions. You will have 30 minutes to write the proposal. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

这道作文试题要求考生给学校医务室写一份改善服务的建议书，内容包括学校医务室存在的问题和解决办法。

建议书是一种常见的应用文，一般包含四个部分：标题、称呼、正文、署名。

本文的标题可以写A Proposal for Improving School Clinic Service。

称呼可以写Dear Director。

正文可以写三个段落。

第一段先表明自己的身份，然后说明写作目的：为了改善学校医务室的服务而提出建议。

第二段指出学校医务室存在的问题并提出解决办法。学校医务室的问题可能有很多方面，考生可以根据自己的知识储备自由发挥，但最好从学生能亲身感受到的方面谈，比如医疗器械缺乏、医务人员不足、买药难等。可以从两三个方面展开分析，在指出一个问题之后，最好马上就提出解决这个问题的措施。

第三段先指出医务室对于学校的重要性，然后建议学校采取有效的措施，以确保医务室装备精良、人员充足。

最后是署名，写在正文之下中间偏右位置，可以写Li Ming。

下面请看参考范文：

A Proposal for Improving School Clinic Service

Dear Director，

I am a sophomore of Shanghai University. I am writing to put forward a proposal to improve the service of our school clinic.

The biggest problem of our school clinic is that it is seriously understaffed. It is not unusual to see students queuing up outside the clinic. Some students have even missed the best opportunity for initial treatment. Another problem is lack of advanced medical devices. Without such devices， it is difficult for doctors to find out the disease a student is suffering from and give proper treatment. The best solution to these problems is to hire more physicians and purchase state-of-the-art equipment. Still another problem is that students have difficulty buying medicine beyond office hours. A vending machine can be installed so that students will have easy access to medicine.

The school clinic plays a critical role in keeping students healthy， both physically and mentally. I hope that effective measures will be taken to ensure that our school clinic is well-equipped and well-staffed.

Li Ming （176 words）

语言亮点借鉴：

1. It is not unusual to see students queuing up outside the clinic. 经常看见学生在医务室外面排起长队。It is not unusual to do sth 经常做某事，这是一个双重否定结构，表示肯定的意思。queue up 排队。

2. Still another problem is that students have difficulty buying medicine beyond office hours. 还有一个问题是学生在上班时间之外难以买到药品。have difficulty doing 做某事有困难，也可以说have trouble/problems doing sth。

3. A vending machine can be installed so that students will have easy access to medicine. 可以安装一台售货机，这样学生就能方便地买到药品。have easy access to 方便地得到。

4. The school clinic plays a critical role in keeping students healthy， both physically and mentally. 学校医务室在保持学生身心健康方面起着至关重要的作用。

六级

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay that begins with the sentence “Nowadays more and more people choose to live an environmentally friendly lifestyle.” You can make comments， cite examples or use your personal experiences to develop your essay. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

这道作文试题要求考生评论一个社会现象——如今越来越多的人选择环保生活。这道题属于分析现象型，其特点是提出一个社会现象，请考生分析这个现象并提出应对措施。

本文可以写三段。

第一段提出所要讨论的社会现象。提出现象的方法多种多样。有一种比较新颖的方法叫故事法，即在文章的开头简洁地讲一个小故事，以此引出所要讨论的问题。这种开头从人入手，富有人情味，让读者在不知不觉中被吸引到文章里。我们可以在本文的开头讲这样一个故事：我的朋友休是一位环保主义者，他骑车上班、吃本地出产的食品、买包装更少的商品，最近他甚至在自家后院种植蔬菜。然后指出休的情况并非个案，如今越来越多的人选择环保的生活方式。这样我们通过一个小故事就引出所要讨论的社会现象，同时还让环保的生活方式具体化。

第二段对这一社会现象展开分析。我们不妨从分析原因的角度下笔，即分析为什么如今越来越多的人选择环保生活。分析原因没有标准答案，考生可以根据自己的知识储备自由发挥，比如：可以从环保意识的增强、政府的倡导、媒体的宣传等几个方面展开论述，也可以从某一个方面深入探讨。本文可以从人们环保意识增强的角度展开分析，比如：由于认识到煤、石油、天然气等自然资源正在以惊人的速度枯竭，越来越多的人选择步行去超市而不是开车；由于意识到海洋环境因人们随意乱扔塑料正在迅速恶化，越来越多的人拒绝使用一次性塑料产品。

本文可以用建议法结尾。第三段先指出环保的生活方式不但对地球意义重大，对我们的健康也有好处。然后号召大家把关心环境作为自己每天生活的一部分。

下面请看参考范文：

My friend， Hugh， has always been an environmentalist. He cycles to work， eats locally grown foods and buy products with less packaging. Recently he has gone so far as to grow his own vegetables in the backyard. Hugh’s case is hardly rare in today’s society， where more and more people are choosing an environmentally friendly lifestyle.

This trend is mainly due to the fact that people are now more environmentally conscious. For example， realizing that natural resources， such as oil， coal and natural gas， are being depleted at an alarming rate， people in growing numbers opt for a green way of life， such as walking to the supermarket instead of driving. Similarly， aware that oceans are deteriorating rapidly because of the plastics people recklessly throw away， increasing numbers of people say no to disposable plastic products， which  pose a serious threat to marine mammals.

We have only one earth. Embracing an environment-friendly lifestyle not only makes a big difference to the planet but is also good for our health. So let’s make caring for the environment part of our daily life. （181 words）

语言亮点借鉴：

1. Recently he has gone so far as to grow his own vegetables in the backyard. 最近他甚至在后院自己种菜。go so far as to do sth 到做某事的程度。

2. Hugh’s case is hardly rare in today’s society， where more and more people are choosing an environmentally friendly lifestyle. 休的情况在今天的社会上并不少见，因为越来越多的人正在选择环保的生活方式。本句是一个过渡句，把小故事和所讨论的社会现象联系起来。

3. This trend is mainly due to the fact that people are now more environmentally conscious. 产生这一趋势的主要原因是现在人们的环保意识更强了。

4. Similarly， aware that oceans are deteriorating rapidly because of the plastics people recklessly throw away， increasing numbers of people say no to disposable plastic products， which pose a serious threat to marine mammals. 同样，由于意识到海洋环境因人们乱扔塑料而正在恶化，越来越多的人拒绝使用一次性塑料产品，因为它们对海洋哺乳动物构成严重威胁。pose a threat to 对……构成威胁，也可以说constitute/present/represent a threat to。