Help Kids Develop the Confidence to Try New Things帮助孩子建立尝试新事物的信心

Trying new things is difficult for many children， whether a different food， activity or skill. They like what they know， and they know what they like.

对许多孩子来说，尝试新事物很困难，无论是新食物、新活动，还是新技能。孩子们喜欢自己熟悉的事物，也了解自己喜欢的东西。

Access to novelty and the unknown was cut off these past few years. There was less exposure to other people’s cooking， limited extracurricular activities and traveling， and fewer playdates with new friends whose homes have different smells， foods and rules， among other missed opportunities.

过去这几年，孩子们接触新颖和未知事物的渠道被掐断了。他们见识他人厨艺的机会少了，课外活动和旅行又受到限制，与家里有不同气味、吃不同食物、遵循不同规则的新朋友一起玩耍的次数也有所下降。他们还错失了其他各种各样的机会。

“When kids are anxious， they tend to prefer predictability， familiarity and repetition， and they don’t like uncertainty， unpredictability and change，” said Eli Lebowitz， director of the Program for Anxiety Disorders at the Yale Child Study Center and author of Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD： A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents.

耶鲁大学儿童研究中心焦虑症项目主任伊莱·莱博维茨说：“孩子感到焦虑时，他们往往更喜欢可预测、熟悉和重复的东西，不喜欢不确定、不可预测和变化的东西。”莱博维茨著有《摆脱儿童焦虑和强迫症：为父母提供经过科学验证的方案》一书。

One of my main jobs as a parent is to expose my children to a wide variety of people and experiences. I do so with the hope that they become more open-minded， collecting a broad spectrum of colors with which they can paint the story of their lives.

作为家长，我的主要责任之一是让孩子接触各种各样的人和事。我这么做是希望他们思想更加开明，生活更加多姿多彩，最终能够绘就他们自己的人生画卷。

Unfortunately， we are all a little rusty. Children need encouragement to get out there and experience the world， and parents and caregivers need help figuring out how to provide that help without making them feel insecure or overexposed. Such balance requires thoughtfulness and intention， which is not， fortunately， impossible to achieve.

遗憾的是，我们都没有那么得心应手。孩子们需要鼓励才能走出去体验世界，家长和照料者则需要帮助，以便厘清如何提供孩子所需的帮助才不会让孩子觉得没有安全感或是不堪重负。达到这种平衡需要深入思考和精心谋划，所幸并非无法实现。

Here are expert-approved tips on how to get your kids to try new things without freaking them out.

下面为大家提供几条专家认可的建议，教你如何让孩子尝试新事物，但又不会让他们感到恐慌。

Start with what they know

从孩子们会的开始

Take something your kids already like or are good at， and push them to try it in a new environment or slightly different way， said Maurice J. Elias， professor of psychology at Rutgers University and co-author of Emotionally Intelligent Parenting： How to Raise a Self-Disciplined， Responsible， Socially Skilled Child.

莫里斯·J. 伊莱亚斯是拉特格斯大学的心理学教授，也是《高情商育儿：如何培养自律、有责任心和善于交际的孩子》一书的合著者。他建议找到孩子们本来就喜欢或是擅长的事物，然后鼓励他们在新环境中，或是以略有不同的方式，尝试这种事物。

“We want our kids to feel confident about their strengths and use that as a springboard to try something new. What are our kids good at？ What are they comfortable with？ How can we help them advance in that？” he said. For example， “if they play a musical instrument， what is another venue where they can play that instrument？”

伊莱亚斯说：“我们希望孩子对自己的长处感到自信，并把长处用作尝试新事物的跳板。我们的孩子擅长什么？乐于接受什么？我们如何帮助他们在这方面取得进步？”他举例道：“如果他们会弹奏某种乐器，能不能找到其他可供他们弹奏的场所呢？”

There’s no need to learn a new instrument， figuratively and metaphor-ically speaking—just an opportunity to push your child to try something new with the skill or hobby they know.

孩子们并不需要学习一种新乐器，这只是打个比方。我们需要的是找到机会，借助孩子的既有技能或爱好促使他们尝试新事物。

Routines are your friend

善用例行事务

Sometimes a new thing works best when it is part of an old thing. This is a particularly helpful tactic with neuro-diverse children as well as others averse to change， said Karen VanAusdal， senior director of practice at the Chicago-based Collaborative for Academic， Social and Emotional Learning.

卡伦·瓦纳斯代尔是芝加哥学术、社交和情感学习合作组织的高级实践主任。她说，新事物作为旧事物的一部分出现时，新事物的实践效果最佳。对于神经多样性儿童，以及那些不喜欢改变的孩子来说，这种策略格外有用。

“Routines and rituals can be very comforting and useful，” she said. “I believe in keeping them and then stretching one piece （of them） to add in something new， while allowing the kid the agency and power to decide if they want to do it.”

她表示：“例行事务和仪式能让人觉得非常放松，而且十分有效。我认为应该保留它们，然后延伸其中一部分以添加新内容，同时赋予孩子动力和机会去自行决定是否要做这件事。”

Here’s a small example of my own： My sons and I often go out for Korean food on Thursday nights. Recently， we tried a new restaurant where the food was a little different. They， much to my surprise， didn’t mind！ The idea of eating at a Korean restaurant together felt so safe， exciting and familiar that they were willing to try foods they had never had before.

这是我自己的一个小例子：我和儿子们经常在周四晚上去吃韩国料理。最近，我们尝试了一家新餐厅，那里的食物有点不同。让我意外的是，孩子们并不介意！大家一起去韩国餐厅吃饭的想法让孩子们觉得非常安全、兴奋又熟悉，以至于他们愿意尝试之前从未吃过的食物。

Make a list

列一个清单

Ask your child what new things they want to try out—or have them write a list， VanAusdal said. Help them figure out what it is they are worried about when they avoid new things.

瓦纳斯代尔说，问问孩子想要尝试什么新事物，或是让他们自己写下一个清单，帮他们找到害怕尝试新事物的原因。

Sometimes the act of identifying and naming fears can help diminish them. It’s a way to feel in charge of your emotions and understand the connection between feelings， thoughts and actions.

有时候，发现并说出恐惧就有助于减轻恐惧。这种方法会让人觉得自己可以掌控自己的情绪，也能让人理解情绪、思维和行动之间的关联。