Charlie’s Raven (Excerpt VI)《查理的渡鸦》(节选六)

作者: 琼·克雷格黑德·乔治 吴文安/译析

When the two walked into Granddad’s house with Charlie triumphantly holding Blue Sky, Granddad actually got out of his chair. He took the little raven in his hands, grinned, and refused to guess how he had gotten back to his tree home on the butte.

他俩走回爷爷的房子,查理得意洋洋地举着蓝天,爷爷见了竟然从椅子上站了起来。爷爷把小渡鸦捧在手里,咧开嘴笑,拒绝猜测小渡鸦是如何回到小山丘上的树巢里的。

“Don’t speculate,”, he said when Charlie took a guess. “Observe. Take notes.” That evening, however, he and Grandma Sally speculated until bedtime about just how Blue Sky might have found his home without flying. They got nowhere.

“不要乱猜。”查理猜测的时候爷爷说,“要观察。记笔记。”虽然如此,那天晚上查理和莎莉奶奶一直在推测,直到睡觉时才停止:蓝天不会飞,到底是怎么找回家的呢。他们怎么也猜不出来。

The next morning Charlie wrote:

第二天早上,查理写到:

July 11. Granddad doesn’t want me to guess how Blue Sky got home. Well, I think it’s very human to guess, and since this is a study of the environment affecting the human, I’m going to take a guess.

七月十一日。爷爷不想让我猜测蓝天是怎么回家的。可是,我想猜一猜也是人之常情,因为这是一项环境如何影响人类的研究,所以我还是要猜一猜。

He made a few doodles.

查理乱画了几笔。

Then he wrote: I keep thinking “supernatural”—and that’s out, out, out.

然后又写:我一直在想这是一起“超自然”事件——真是太古怪、太古怪、太古怪了。

“Grrrrrr.” A raven comfort call. Charlie jumped up from the desk. He checked Blue Sky. He hadn’t called. He was asleep. “Grrrrrr,” sounded again. Blue Sky suddenly awoke and flapped out of his basket. He hopped and fluttered to the door. Charlie was about to catch him when he thought of Granddad.

“咯咯。”传来了一个渡鸦哄小鸟的叫声。查理从桌子旁跳了起来。他看了看蓝天。蓝天没有叫。蓝天在睡觉呢。“咯咯。”又是一声。蓝天突然醒来,扇动翅膀跳出了篮子。蓝天蹦蹦跳跳扑扇着翅膀到了门口。查理刚刚想抓住蓝天,突然想起了爷爷的话。

“No,” he said to Blue Sky. “I’m going to OBSERVE.” He picked up his binoculars and opened the door.

“不,”他对蓝天说,“我要好好观察。”查理抓起双筒望远镜,打开了门。

The little raven walked out, jumped off the log steps, and crossed the yard. He ran, hopped, and walked over the irrigation ditch bridge and into the middle of the dirt road. Exposed to the open sky, the little bird was prey for eagle, hawk, and coyote. He walked on, waddling from side to side as he hurried down the road, with Charlie following behind from sagebrush clump to sagebrush clump to keep out of sight.

小渡鸦走了出去,跳下圆木台阶,穿过了院子。他一边跑,一边跳,走过了灌溉渠上的桥梁,来到土路的中间。这样一来小渡鸦就暴露在光天化日之下,会成为雕、鹰隼和丛林狼的猎物。小渡鸦继续走,沿着土路摇摇摆摆地匆忙前行,查理跟在后面,从一个山艾丛躲到另一个山艾丛,不让蓝天看见。

“KEK, KEK, KEK.” The raven alarm cry! Blue sky disappeared under a green gentian plant. A golden eagle circled above the spot where he had been, saw nothing and flew on. When the eagle was speck above the river, an adult raven swooped over the gentian plant. Blue sky came out of hiding and walked on. The raven flew above him. It was his mother, leading him home.

“咔、咔、咔。”这是渡鸦的警报!蓝天立刻消失在一株绿色龙胆的下面。一只金雕刚好从蓝天刚才行走的地方上空盘旋而过,没有发现什么,就继续飞走了。金雕飞到远处的河面上,变成了一个斑点,一只大渡鸦掠过那丛龙胆。蓝天从躲藏处出来继续往前走。大渡鸦在他上面飞。那是他的鸟妈妈,带他回家呢。

“So that’s how you did it,” Charlie exclaimed out loud. “You walked under your raven mother all the way down the roads and up the butte to home!” His eyes glistened with admiration.

“原来你是这么回家的。”查理大声说道,“你在你的鸟妈妈护送下,沿着大路,走上山丘回家!”查理的眼睛因为惊羡而闪闪发光。

July 11, 10 p.m. I did a terrible thing today, Charlie wrote. I saw Blue Sky’s mother leading her lost son home, but I ran down the road, picked him up, and took him back to my cabin. Granddad has to get well. That makes me a “bad” guy to the ravens and a “good” guy to Granddad. This all gets muddier and muddier.

七月十一日,晚上十点。我今天做了一件坏事,查理写道。我看到蓝天的鸟妈妈带着她弄丢的儿子回家,但是我沿着路跑,把蓝天捡起来,又带回到我的小木屋。爷爷的身体必须好起来才行。这样做,对渡鸦而言我是一个“坏”家伙,对爷爷而言,我是一个“好”小子。这一切越来越乱套了。

【背景知识】生态文学兼顾生态知识的普及。这一选段提到了小渡鸦自行逃回鸟巢的情形。一开始查理和家人根本无法想象这样的事情会发生,只能胡乱猜想。查理通过自己的耐心观察和跟踪,终于弄明白了真相。爷爷告诫查理要观察和记录,不能仅仅满足于猜想。这是一种科学的态度。

【第一段】原文描写爷爷从椅子上下来使用了actually,表示惊讶,因为爷爷病得很重,行动不便。因此译文将其译为“竟然”。

【第二段】第三句比较长,语义复杂,句式不容易连贯。译文添加了“才停止”,补足了译文的语气。最后一句的译文进行了明晰化,直接翻译了原文的隐含意义。

【第三段】这里有几处难点。短句“it’s very human to guess”不能简单翻译为“猜一猜很符合人性”,这样太正式,而且很难理解,所以译文使用了意译手段,即“猜一猜也是人之常情”。短语environment affecting the human的译文也添加了“如何”,使之更加符合中文习惯。最后一句中的out意思是impossible,译文结合上下文翻译为“太古怪”。

【第四段】第一句中的原文很简洁,是名词短语。译文扩充为“渡鸦哄小鸟”,更加易懂。动词flap意思是扇动翅膀,结合语境,译文添加了“跳出了”,因为小渡鸦还不会飞,只能跳。至于最后一部分原文中的大写单词,译文用了黑体字来再现重点。

【第五段】这一段文学性强,动作连续性很强,译文应该简洁生动才好。

【第六段】跟第四段一样,第六段里也有象声词。翻译象声词不仅仅要考虑模拟原文的声音,还要同时考虑象声词在中文里的习惯用法。因此这里使用了“咔咔”,具体的声音跟原文有所差异。名词speck在此是一个隐喻,即金雕飞远了,变得只有一个斑点那么大。译文添加了“变成了”,让句子完整。

【第七段】原文的最后一句很生动,是指查理因为意料不到渡鸦这么聪明而艳羡,所以译文使用了“惊羡”。

【第八段】短句Granddad has to get well的译文添加了“(爷爷的)身体”,否则译文意思不清楚。倒数第二句中的guy意义丰富有趣(语体上非正式),但不容易翻译。译文使用了两个词语来对应原文里的一个词,即“家伙”表示有点坏,而在家人眼里,查理是个好“小子”。

【小结】该选段值得讨论的翻译难点不少,比如象声词,比如原文的简洁句式需要适当扩充和明晰化,比如原文非正式口语化的特点如何再现和保留等。同时,原文里还有一些比较特殊的词语,比如out和guy等,都需要仔细斟酌之后再翻译。

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